It seems that a mother’s guilt has been a theme in my life lately. Several friends have shared their struggles with not feeling like they stack up as a mom and I personally feel the guilt pressing in on me day after day. I was just telling Matt today that from day one of finding out we were pregnant the guilt began. One day I didn’t eat enough veggies and the next I didn’t get enough exercise.
Since Ellie was born the reasons have changed, but the guilt is still very much present. I ended up getting an epidural when I wanted to give birth naturally (21 hours of labor– yeah…so thankful for that epidural at hour 7). She lost weight before we left the hospital so obviously there was something I was doing wrong.
As the “newness” wore off I found myself staring at my Kindle or phone while nursing instead of staring into the eyes of the beautiful miracle in my arms. I couldn’t help but feel guilty for not enjoying every moment given the years we prayed for God to give us a child.
Then at a month old she spiked a fever and ended up in the hospital for a couple of days. In my mind, I hadn’t protected her enough. As she grew, I felt guilt over not playing with her enough to help her develop…but the next week I felt like I played with her/held her too much so she would never learn independence. The list goes on and on.
A friend summed it up best when they shared “Mom Guilt Bingo” on Facebook the other day. Here you go: